The Pantless Wonder

“Katie’s gonna believe that I’m not three anymore, I’m four!”

About this weekend when Max and Katie (his cousin) will both be sleeping at Gran’s.

Out of the blue from the back of the truck, “Mom, do you like to kick piles of dirt off of roofs?”

Sunday Ted and I were trying to remember that rhyme about ‘my son John, went to bed with one sock off, one sock on’ and Max said, “Wait! You have a son named John!!??”

Out of the blue (again) yesterday morning Max said, “Mom, I think I can run faster than Jarod now. I can beat him.”

This morning we found Max with his shorts around his ankles, potty unflushed (but used), fast asleep in the door of his bathroom! Crazy kid! I picked him up and he said he wanted to go to sleep in my bed (this was 6:30am), and that he had been sleep-walking. I had no idea that he’d even ever heard the term.

Last night at supper Max left his (used) napkin on the table. After a minute or two Jack picked it up and held it loosely to his nose and blew! He did this 3 or 4 more times…it was so funny. That little kid cracks me up (when he’s not making me pull my hair out).

A few minutes later he reared back and then slammed his head down on the table. He hit his mouth and tore that little flap of skin that connects his top lip with his gums. I couldn’t believe how much blood kept gushing out, almost with his heartbeat! Poor baby. He stopped breathing so I hit his back a few times, then he started gagging on all the blood in his mouth. Needless to say my clothes were covered with blood. He was all better about a minute later. Ted gave him some popsicle, but I don’t think he even needed it. It looks really bad up there now. Poor kid!

Mama, who were your grandfathers?
They’re dead now, but they were called Papaw and Pawpaw.
Well, I’ll be your grandfather now. How did they die?
I don’t know, they just died. (Started to say they were old, but didn’t want him to think all old people die…how do I answer this?)
Oh, you mean they were ten?
Then when I said they were older than that he asked me 45 other questions about how old they were…15? 8-1-0? a million?

Yesterday he said he wanted to be an astronaut when he grows up. Today it was a teacher, then he said he just wants to be a daddy. He wants to be Jack’s daddy.

This planet has two Arkansas. Brannon lives in Arkansas, but not in Cabot, Arkansas.

For awhile now Max has been “grabbing” E’s kisses from his face, then touching his chest saying “I’m putting your kiss in my heart.” Friday when I put Max to bed he did that to me but then touched my chest as well. I asked if he was putting my kiss in his heart and he said, “I’m putting some of my heart in yours and your heart in mine. We’re sharing our hearts!” Try not to tear up at that one while he’s saying it to you. Go on, I dare you.

Somewhat older boy playing in our street, to Max: When I’m at my Dad’s house, Justin is my best friend, but when I’m here, you are my bestest friend

Max: I am ALWAYS your best friend.

I should point out that Max doesn’t even know the other boy’s name

Can’t believe I missed the opportunity to describe the boys’ before-the-birth behavior the way cjane did:

“I felt The Chief kicking inside of me as if he controlling the gas, brake and clutch pedals to his imaginary in-utereo Porsche.”

You know what, Mama? I would like to take the pipes out of your truck and put some fire pipes and rockets in there!

The other day at the library Max had to go to the bathroom. While Max was going and I was holding Jack Max very seriously said to me that he wanted me to try, one time! Heh.

This morning as we talked about going to Monmon’s house he told me that Monmon lives right next to Gran’s closet.

To Daddy: When you gave me a spanking it broke my heart.