The Pantless Wonder

From the back of the truck: Before I was some atoms (that’s a mixture of my ‘where do babies come from’ talk and the Hubble show) was I anywhere

Max at breakfast: I wish I had magnet shoes ’cause if I was running and someone was chasing me and there was a cold wall like at Old McDonald’s I could run up it.
Max at supper: I think Jack thinks you’re a slave.
Ya think???!

A warning to other parents: Don’t let your kids watch stuff you’re not knowledgeable enough to explain. Today (4 days after watching the Hubble video 8 times) Max asked me to explain spiral galaxies. Huh. Galaxies that are spiral, I guess. According to Max ‘they seem to be moving faster and faster’. Whatever.

This morning at breakfast someone called, and afterwards I programmed their number in my phone. Jack fussed that I wasn’t feeding him fast enough (which he does even when I’m not distracted) and Max said Jack fussed because he thought I was calling someone to have Max killed! This kid’s starting to scare me!

I love you, I told Max. I love Bolt, he said.

Max is a serious superhero today, he says. He’s in his Buzz Lightyear costume with a cape tied on. He asked me if I needed anything lasered and I told him there were bad guys in the dining room. He said no (he contradicts everything I say), but there were bad guys coming…could I open [...]

Out of the blue: “Well, I’m sorry to tell you but you won’t want to go in a black hole. ‘Cause you can go into it but then you can’t get out.” Max has been watching a Hubble piece I recorded a while back. How did he know where I’ve been wanting to go (with [...]

Max (who knows everything) says “I don’t think I was young (when Daddy got rid of his BMW), I was just regular”. Well, that settles it!

I told Max I was going to get my toenails painted. He said he wanted to paint his. I told him only girls painted theirs; sorry, not boys. He said he wanted to be beautiful! (I don’t think I’ve ever said I was going to be beautiful…never!) I told him when he showered and brushed [...]

“Hey, would you like to lick my finger? It has peanut butter on it!”
Heh, the things they don’t tell you about parenthood.